Tiberiuuuum

[ithika]

Okay so I was supposed to sleep, or whatever. But I tried - honest! - and I have too many thoughts buzzing around my head.

Firstly, this thought has been confusing me for some time.

Homophobia. The phobia of homosexual people.
Shouldn't there be another word for people who hate (and other bad stuff) homosexual people? As in, the people who discriminate against and are in other ways retarded towards them? Because isn't hate different from fear?

I realise that hate or anger is a pretty common by-product of fear, but still. I don't know. Forgive me if this is inappropriate. I was just thinking about it - isn't it possible to fear something without hating it?
I had a hard time considering this because the only thing that I can truly say I have a phobia towards is seaweed (yes, it's true. Not afraid of spiders, snakes, fire, heights, disembowel- wait, ok. mildly disconcerted by the idea of disembowelment - etc, but afraid of seaweed. petrified of it), and while I could say that I fear it and I guess I hate it, seaweed is hardly representative of this train of thought, it's not a very complex fear.
So I think the fact that I both fear and hate seaweed may be irrelevant? Or maybe it isn't? Maybe fear always results in hate?

I can't really imagine having an intense, phobic fear of a certain group of people, though. I guess it's because I don't?
I have a moderate fear of too many people all at once, but that's not saying "I fear people who have brown hair" or whatever. It just seems silly. But I suppose the whole thing is.

And then, if that's the case and people who hate homosexual people shouldn't be called homophobes but something else, does that mean that homophobia becomes a benign thing? Could it be? I mean I would still definitely think of both as being stupid and misguided, but then most phobias are. For example there's not likely any reason that I should fear a plant that floats in the ocean. But as much as I can say that now, it doesn't stop me from being afraid of it.  Hm, no, I think it definately wouldn't be benign. Because it's still going to cause people to discriminate against another group of people. Theoretically. Because I suppose you are mistrustful of the things you fear, and therefore your fear would always govern how you react to the object of your unease. So therefore a person who didn't hate gay people, but was afraid of them for some reason, would still treat them differently and therefore be discriminating against them, if unconsciously or passively.

So I suppose in the end of all that I have come to the conclusion that I guess homophobia is appropriate to mean both hating and fearing homosexual people.

Hurrah! A pointless wall of text.

---

In other news:


I finished my fish vector




Um.
I am randomly really happy and then really angry lately. Somewhat concerned about these moodswings, because they are reasonably uncharacteristic. Or at least they have been for a while.
I am pretty sure I know what's causing them, however:
1. I am unhappy about the fact that I'm always broke. (Lol can't fix it)
2. I am unhappy with my level of fitness (though I'm working on improving that)
3. I am unhappy living at home (Lol can't fix it)

So yeah. Knowing what the problem is doesn't really help when you can't change it, though. It more highlights my feeling of frustrated helplessness.

At least my studio teacher really likes my work. He said it was "inspired." This makes me feel pretty good. But still, with the mood swings.

Comments

[patternsofchaos.livejournal.com]

I probably won't be able to come again tomorrow (mostly because while I think my knee will be ok, I don't want to do any exercise without my strap thingy, which I conveniently left at Jason's.)

Should be good to go on Thursday though!

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

That's okay. I hope your knee recovers soon! *hugs you*
Where do you get straps from btw?
I experience a different kind of discomfort in my right knee during exercise than I do anywhere else, so I thought I should get one to... stop it?

[patternsofchaos.livejournal.com]

I got one from the doctor I went to see the next day...so maybe the medical centre, or a chemist?

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

Ah coolness. Thanks :)

[flye.livejournal.com]

Fear leads to hate.. Hate leads to the Dark Side.

Such a succinct answer!

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

Of course.

Thank you for showing me the way, Master Yoda

Re: Such a succinct answer!

[flye.livejournal.com]

Welcome you are.

[caketime.livejournal.com]

Nice pic!!!!

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

:) Thanke!

[theducks.livejournal.com]

Re problem 1.. you can't fix it because you don't have the time to work, or you can't fix it because you don't have a job? If it's the latter, and you have a passable knowledge about compotars, let me know and I can be on the lookout for something.

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

It's kind of... bits of both? I don't have time to work much. I work cleaning a bank, which is a set ammount of hours for some kind of tiny pittance that just keeps my bank account going, and Dick Smiths I would earn more but I only get 5 hours a week there because the other times that I'm free they don't need more staff. -\O_o/- It seems like there is little that can be done at the present moment!

Hehe, it depends whether you mean a passable knowledge about software or hardware? I would say I have a passable knowledge about software and a rudimentary knowledge of hardware. So I don't know? But thanks very much for the offer! :)

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

NICE picture. Is pretties!

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

Thankee! ^_^
I heart these fish. That is it's natural colouring, pretty much. Crazy eh?

[queenofsog.livejournal.com]

NICE VECTORRRRR! Did you use a tablet? I am trying to decide if buying a tablet will lead to my ultimate happiness or not. I am also fascinated with the process people use to get to a finished product, especially one that is so awesome.

Homophobia. Hmm. I think it's the misunderstanding that leads to fear. People who don't understand it, and people who would be classified as homophobic have a strong aversion to homosexuals. I think it is a fear, but it's not a fear like 'omg this plane might crash!', it's a fear from misunderstanding. It's not as if being around homosexuals is going to lead to any direct negative impact on the phobic person, there's no danger element, it's just beyond their comprehension.

I have been feeling a little manic lately too. One minute I'm all 'I'm going to do all these things of awesomeness!' and the next minute I'm like 'this is the worst day ever and I hate everything'. It sucks when you really can't fix things though. Have you ever thought about doing freelance work? I do bits and pieces of graphic design and such, and it's good money. People get paid way too much for that stuff. My riding coach was quoted 50,000 to get a website up, so me charging them 3,000 seems like a bargain but I could live off that money for ages!

So, um, yes. There are ways to build your folio and experience and earn a little cash on the side :)

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

Thankeee! :D Yeah, I did. A few months ago I got meself a Wacom Bamboo Fun. (Because I managed to haggle with a salesperson until I got it for considerably less than Wacom was selling them for... Harvey Normans is the bomb!)
I would pretty much say that it will lead to ultimate happiness! It is probably my favourite computar accessory that I have at the moment.
:D thanks! Um. I used illustrator! What else do you mean by process? There wasn't that much involved,I think? Or maybe it's too early in the morning for thinking (haha 10:30... yes.)

Hmm, that does make sense. Fear from confusion, yeah.

Yeah, that is pretty much exactly what it is like atm. I had considered it but I don't know where to start! That is good money! Oh the things I could do with $3,000!!
Maybe I will just do a million vectors of things and then trick people into giving me money for them? But how do I do this? I guess I could advertise at uni, but the problem with advertising at uni is that students are poor! Heheh.

[queenofsog.livejournal.com]

Ohh you've totally sold me on a tablet. I want one! Did you sketch it out by hand first, like with pencil and paper? I have been doing hand illustrations and scanning them in and then inking them on photoshop (because illustrator is being a poop, damn pirate software)... but I think my life would be easier with a tablet.

I have seen a few ads for uni designers on our QUT job ad page, so maybe check your uni site? Otherwiseeee... I dunno. Maybe set up a site with a folio of your work to advertise yourself that way? That's what I'm going to do (one day, when I have time. And money.) I've been lucky so far, people I know have needed design work done. The horsey ppl have accepted my quote of three grand but won't get their butts into gear actually getting the stuff I need (photographs, etc) so I might have to do something about that too. I need that moneys!

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

This time I didn't, because I'm crazy. Next time I will - sketching in Illustrator is more or less one of the most ridiculously tedious things I've done.
Life is so much easier with a tablet. I've made vectors with a mouse before, and tablet vectors turn out so much better in so much less time, it's amazing. And fun!

Ahh okay, that's a good idea. Hmm, well I have always wanted my own slice of interweb. Damn that money thing though. That's awesome! Now just to extract the dollars from them... Yeah. People who aren't quite organised?

[queenofsog.livejournal.com]

Gawd don't tell me anything more about the awesomeness! I so can't afford one right now. I went to the wacom bamboo fun website and fell even more in love with them.

Wait, tell me one more thing. Did it take you a while to master using a tablet? Some sites I've read say it's hard. Also, some places have said it's not good for left handed people. I am a left handed people.

Intraweb is affordable, really, depending on how flat broke you are. I set up my riding school with a .com and a .com.au and a hosting package for about 200 bucks for 12 months for the .com.au and the space, and two years for the .com. I used Domain Hosting Shop. I also had a site hosted with them for about 3 years and had no problems (that I didn't cause myself, like deleting frontpage extensions whoopsies).

If I owned an SLR camera, I'd totally be charging them to do new photography. I have to do photomedia next semester at uni so I might use the uni gear to take horsey promo shots. The riding school people had awesome photography done like four years ago, but never brought any of the shots, and now the photographer's drive is corrupt and she said if they want them she's going to charge for data retrieval which may not work. And these are simple country type people, so they are all 'why can't you just get them for us wtffff' and that's the last I heard about the whole thing... that was 3 months ago now.

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

Hoom you shouldn't look at the website! it makes you want it more! (Speaking of which, apple is amazingly good at making you want to buy their products.)

Nope! I was able to use it with the greatest of ease once I updated the drivers. Make sure you get the right proportions for the monitor you're using though. (like if you use a widescreen monitor, make sure your tablet is widescreen format.) I'm left handed too!! WE MUST BE TWINS

:S Unfortunately I'm kind of flat-ish broke. I just need to find a way to squeeze more time out of days. I'll find a way. That is a pretty reasonable price though! (Oooh. That is a whoopsie!)

Ugh. SLR cameras. My friend has an SLR, and it makes everything look pro and classy. I mean I love my camera and all but it just doesn't compare. (She may be somewhat more skilled at photos than me too... :'()
:( Poor country peoples. That seems sad for them. :( If only SLRs weren't hideously expensive! Then you could make them a website AND sell them photos!! :D it would be great.
:( Three months! Aww.

[infamyanonymous.livejournal.com]

One thing I do know is that altering language does nothing to alter the concepts those words represent. It doesn't seem logical to me that there is a group of people who are afraid of homosexuals in the way other people are afraid of spiders. Therein, lies the diversity of 'phobia'.

Essentially, there's two meanings, which have been socially defined. The suffix [-phobic] means 1) An intense irrational fear of X, or 2) A strong dislike boardering on irrational fear of Y.
In the same way [-aholic] has become a suffix meaning 'addicted to'. It doesn't have any greek base, it's just been taken off the end of alcoholic, and used to denote the addiction that word implies, even though it has no real base, it just sounds right. ('Sounds right', btw, is a perfectly acceptable reason.)

It's like xenophobia, or the newly termed Islamophobia. Most people with xenophobia aren't (necessarily) scared, per se, just a general discomfort with the idea of foreigners.

So, basically, yes. Your conclusion was correct. I just had these 2 cents sitting around in my pocket.

(Also, that drawing is fantastic. Really, really awesome.)

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

This makes sense. :) 2 Cent coins are awesome, I miss them.
I'm a bit confused about "altering language does nothing to alter the concepts those words represent", though. Do you mean that if you give a word an additional meaning in a slang sense, like "Sick" to mean "awesome" for example, it still carries its original meaning and you have to depend on context to tell which meaning is intended? As in if someone said "That is fully sick" you would assume they mean "that is really awesome" instead of "that is really unwell" even though "unwell" is the traditional/more common use of the word?
Or do you mean something else? I am sensing that your linguistics xp points have beaten me on this one.

(Thankyou!! :D :D)

[infamyanonymous.livejournal.com]

Um, not really, but that is entirely a valid point. Words can pick up new meanings that are socially based, but that's natural. The words develop according to the people who use them.

What I was talking about is the opposite of that. Where people, somewhere, decide to change the way people think by changing the words they use to describe them. Like political correctness; the idea that we can make people outside "the standard issue" into "special" by using crap terms like "height impaired" or "alternative lifestyle". It's a crap reactionary thing people try, it just doesn't work.
Another example is using Ms to stop the perceived social gap between Miss and Mrs, whereas guys aren't separated into married and unmarried. The public reaction was kinda like giving shoes to primates. Even after, what, two decades? people still look at 'Ms' and go "Why is she trying to hide whether or not she's married?"
It did absolutely bugger all to balance out this percieved inbalance between the gendered prefixes.

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

In fact, I think the most common interpretation of "Ms" is now "too old to be called Miss, but unmarried." I have been part of this conversation a few times.

I understand now, thanks. Yeah. It is a bizarre practise which I don't think is entirely worthwhile. The idea that you can normalise something by giving them a euphamised term to describe their otherness, like "height impared," I think is surprisingly flawed. Because you're still making them 'other' by diferentiating them! The only way to normalise a 'differnt' group is to treat them exactly as you would anyone else.. but yeah. Stuff!

The whole Miss/Mrs instead, Ms thing, I think, is silly. I don't see it as a social gap. *rolls around* oddness. People are odd.

FISH + CHIPS = YUM

[arinellen.livejournal.com]

Wonderful picture. I liked the colours last night but now I don't like them as much. It's too... wrong for me. Not that I don't love the drawing! You should teach me to draw so well. It may just be the Yoshi beneath my monitor at the moment that is making the colours funny? Or the LCDness?

Umm, I have lots of mood swings. I am getting better at controlling them.

Re: FISH + CHIPS = YUM (I AGREE)

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

Thankyou!
Hm, I've noticed that the PDF file actually has different colours to the JPG, slightly, but if I open the illustrator file they're similar to the JPG. This makes no sense. I would have thought that the compressed JPG would be less accurate but you know, whatever.
They are actually the actual colours of this fish! Which is why I love these fish. They are like disco party creatures of the sea.

http://www.lodwick.com/images/Tuskfish_Harlequin_2.jpg bwaaagh. They're also Australian!

How do you control them?

[dailfire.livejournal.com]

Ooo i was just talking about this !!This may start a anger swing!! :P
http://youtube.com/watch?v=T0xoKiH8JJM&feature
do you think that is fear or hate?
His explanation for how he doest "hate" still makes no sense for me?
Personally i think/hope hes a joytastic satirist.

I disagree with this "guy". Lol angers.

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

Hah, that guy is a dick.
I think it's probably fear, but not directly. Like not a direct fear of women so much as it might be a fear that he won't achieve enough in his life, so he creates an idea that men (which he is a part of) are better than women to make himself feel like he has achieved something. That sentence was kind of poorly constructed but yeah. I also think he's probably pretty insecure and possibly lonely. I think this because of the sunglasses. He's projecting this "cool" image where he is a persona who does 'cool' anti-establishment things. Projecting a persona means that he can act with confidence because attacks to him when he's projecting this persona aren't attacks towards him. This is also poorly explained, because I think he's probably pretty sure that he's acting like himself. He's an interesting person that I think is probably relatively uneducated and bound for loneliness.
The other reason he might be wearing glasses is that you could be right.. it could all be satire and so he doesn't want to be recognised. (Lol at "Dr Phil got trolled" comments) But I dunno.


I understand how he can say that he doesn't "hate" though. The dog metaphor was actually pretty accurate for explaining it.. kind of.
It's sort of like... you can't hate something for its nature, or its nature doesn't make it evil.
Sharks aren't evil just because they kill and maim things that are sometimes people. It's the sharks nature to eat to live, and its job is to eat things that aren't fast or clever enough to escape. That some sharks are smart enough to realise that humans make wholesome and easy food isn't the sharks' fault, and it doesn't make the shark evil.
So I think this is kind of what he means. Because he allegedly doesn't believe that women are capable of the same thought processes as men (lol whatever), he just thinks that it is our nature to be vapid or greedy or whatever. So he can't hate women for 'all being whores.'
If it's his true attitudes about women I'd say that he's likely to be incredibly socially incompetent, and has never had any female friends. OR all his female friends were vapid bitches. It could happen.

(lol long comment! That guy is a pretty hilarious thing.)