Tiberiuuuum

[ithika]

Okay so I was supposed to sleep, or whatever. But I tried - honest! - and I have too many thoughts buzzing around my head.

Firstly, this thought has been confusing me for some time.

Homophobia. The phobia of homosexual people.
Shouldn't there be another word for people who hate (and other bad stuff) homosexual people? As in, the people who discriminate against and are in other ways retarded towards them? Because isn't hate different from fear?

I realise that hate or anger is a pretty common by-product of fear, but still. I don't know. Forgive me if this is inappropriate. I was just thinking about it - isn't it possible to fear something without hating it?
I had a hard time considering this because the only thing that I can truly say I have a phobia towards is seaweed (yes, it's true. Not afraid of spiders, snakes, fire, heights, disembowel- wait, ok. mildly disconcerted by the idea of disembowelment - etc, but afraid of seaweed. petrified of it), and while I could say that I fear it and I guess I hate it, seaweed is hardly representative of this train of thought, it's not a very complex fear.
So I think the fact that I both fear and hate seaweed may be irrelevant? Or maybe it isn't? Maybe fear always results in hate?

I can't really imagine having an intense, phobic fear of a certain group of people, though. I guess it's because I don't?
I have a moderate fear of too many people all at once, but that's not saying "I fear people who have brown hair" or whatever. It just seems silly. But I suppose the whole thing is.

And then, if that's the case and people who hate homosexual people shouldn't be called homophobes but something else, does that mean that homophobia becomes a benign thing? Could it be? I mean I would still definitely think of both as being stupid and misguided, but then most phobias are. For example there's not likely any reason that I should fear a plant that floats in the ocean. But as much as I can say that now, it doesn't stop me from being afraid of it.  Hm, no, I think it definately wouldn't be benign. Because it's still going to cause people to discriminate against another group of people. Theoretically. Because I suppose you are mistrustful of the things you fear, and therefore your fear would always govern how you react to the object of your unease. So therefore a person who didn't hate gay people, but was afraid of them for some reason, would still treat them differently and therefore be discriminating against them, if unconsciously or passively.

So I suppose in the end of all that I have come to the conclusion that I guess homophobia is appropriate to mean both hating and fearing homosexual people.

Hurrah! A pointless wall of text.

---

In other news:


I finished my fish vector




Um.
I am randomly really happy and then really angry lately. Somewhat concerned about these moodswings, because they are reasonably uncharacteristic. Or at least they have been for a while.
I am pretty sure I know what's causing them, however:
1. I am unhappy about the fact that I'm always broke. (Lol can't fix it)
2. I am unhappy with my level of fitness (though I'm working on improving that)
3. I am unhappy living at home (Lol can't fix it)

So yeah. Knowing what the problem is doesn't really help when you can't change it, though. It more highlights my feeling of frustrated helplessness.

At least my studio teacher really likes my work. He said it was "inspired." This makes me feel pretty good. But still, with the mood swings.

Comments

[theducks.livejournal.com]

Re problem 1.. you can't fix it because you don't have the time to work, or you can't fix it because you don't have a job? If it's the latter, and you have a passable knowledge about compotars, let me know and I can be on the lookout for something.

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

It's kind of... bits of both? I don't have time to work much. I work cleaning a bank, which is a set ammount of hours for some kind of tiny pittance that just keeps my bank account going, and Dick Smiths I would earn more but I only get 5 hours a week there because the other times that I'm free they don't need more staff. -\O_o/- It seems like there is little that can be done at the present moment!

Hehe, it depends whether you mean a passable knowledge about software or hardware? I would say I have a passable knowledge about software and a rudimentary knowledge of hardware. So I don't know? But thanks very much for the offer! :)