There's a fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'

[ithika]

I think that sums up a great deal of my life, really.

Oh, oh, and it's not my fault, either, it's all the fault of that poll. Making me choose like that. What a poo. But, as ummyep suggested, very kindly tollerating my *cough*squeeingfangirlbehaviour*cougH*, I voted for the one with the longest hair. And, after careful, careful consideration, and many a picture-viewing [it wasn't my fault! I swear! Damn you and your accusations!], I decided that the one I was quite honestly already going to pick won. Yeah. And so have voted many-a-time.
*looks around self-conciously*
Yeah, yeah. I know. But it's ok. Really, it is.

...
I spent a long time doing homework today. Maybe it's a good sign, maybe I'm finally doing what I'm supposed to do. my god, I wish I could just give up on maths here and now...
And today was a good day. As it happens, stereo microscopes rock. However, I want an electron microscope, and I want one now.
Also, I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not a very good arts leader. Well, leader in general. Not to say that I'm a 'follower', but I don't think it's a very good idea to let me lead. I'm lazy, irresponsible, and enjoy chaos far too much. I also, if leading were literal, would find it vastly amusing to lead people/things into, or off of, rather, cliffs. [Hey, if they're that guilable...]
that and I'm forgetful. Oh yeah. And it's making me more paranoid than I normally am. Although, this isn't a good paranoid - I'm being paranoid about myself messing up, which I'm not normally.

...Egads! It's Johnny Depp with almost no hair!! [sorry. but this is a big thing for me... well, *pause* *shrugs*]

But anyway, I'm thinking that maybe this year is going to be tough, not so easy-sailing as I had planned. *sighs* that's a very depressing thought, you know.
And I really need to do something creative and do it soon, or my head will implode, I kid you not. I haven't done anything interesting or fulfilling in a long while and it's begining to have adverse effects on my personality. I may have been the only one to notice it, but seeing as this is me, and my mind, just me noticing is enough. It's not that I'm unhappy, it's just that I'm restless. Skitterish. On edge. And I don't know whether I like it. But it worries me, none the less.

Comments

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

Aw *hugs* wow. I'm amazed you noticed. *nervous laugh* I thought I was more secret that that. [I love that word - secret, that is] And it wasn't just to you, it was/is everyone, and for no apparant reason. I wasn't unhappy, by the bye, so don't fret, my dear.

Hehe. Thankyou. Your chaoticness is thrown out by your need to organise things. :s, you mean my being forced to organise things? *confused look*

But you have your most excellent personality to counter that! *hugs*

[arinellen.livejournal.com]

But you have your most excellent personality to counter that! *hugs* you flater me but you seem to think that this just works for me. So do you and should counter all ill personality traits (not that I see anyway).

Ah nothing is ever secret, I was worried I just thought you were confiding in someone else and I was scared that I would do something wrong if I didnt know what was happening... I just worry too much.

Yes, you being forced to organise things.

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

hmm, but you're, oh,...*fades off*
Thanks :) but you're more wonderful than I! haahahah

Hmm... I think some things are secret...
No, I have this terrible habbit of not confiding in people. If I did, it would probably be you, though. Nyaww, don't worry about me :)

Yeah. That's a bad plan. Me? Organise? Those poor fools.

I think I have to skidaddle now *pouts* See you tomorrow, my fishie [don't ask... just... don't ask. My mind, it's a scary place. And don't be surprised if I a) never make reference to 'fishie' again b) deny that I ever said it]

[arinellen.livejournal.com]

AHHHHHHHHHHH I am not wonderful!!!!

Ah I guessed that... (that you dont confide) but you should it always helps!!!!

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

haha. yes, yes you are. But, if you don't want to be, I just won't tell you :)

Hmm. Yeah. I'm not good at it, either. *mysterious look*

[arinellen.livejournal.com]

I'm too loose with my tounge... ah but you need to be looser. ahhh...

I'm not wonderful... but my friends are... in fact you may just see my shineyness as your shinyness reflecting off me... oh the light.

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

No, no... but I won't be

Yes you are, are are are, nah nah boogers

[uruserce.livejournal.com]

Yer right... ev'ryones got their sob story.

Nah point in addin' to the world's woes 'eh.

'sides, nah matta' 'ow bad things git, they can alweys get worse...

Can't help it mate. I'm a pessimist at 'eart...

;)

[bloodied-aura.livejournal.com]

"smile - tomorrow will be worse"

:)