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ithikaMy Aunty Topsy died at 6am today.
... It was so very, very unexpected, and I still don't believe it. She was never an old person to me. I'd never even seen her sick before so when my mum said she had a cold last week I didn't even worry. Today has been a really bad day. I know most people will say "old people do die" but you probably haven't met her. She always did everything for herself and she was a sturdy old girl. Apparently once some kids broke into her house and she scared them off all by herself, about 3 15 year old kids being scared off by one little 70-something lady. I don't know when I will accept that she's actually gone. We almost kept one of her dogs, Ness, which I think would have helped, but Bonnie wouldn't have any of it. She's always been a constant reliable part of my life. She's known me since I was 10 months old. She was truly as close as family to me. I suppose I always expected her to be 3 doors down from us, where I could just walk in around the back to talk to her or ask for help for some random thing. I went to her house today and it was unbearable. There were all these strange people I'd never met before and I had to knock on the door. She always kept the most beautiful garden, I really hope whoever lives in the house next looks after it as well as she did. I'm going to make my outdoor photo collage thing of it, I think. I don't want to do the inside of her house because those other people have already moved it around. They're her family, by the way. But I never saw them around much. I'm... sad that I'm not one of her "real " family. I know it's feelings that matter most but... I don't know. Feelings are pretty messed up right now. So.. yeah.
Don't take people for granted, because apparently nobody is immortal.
... It was so very, very unexpected, and I still don't believe it. She was never an old person to me. I'd never even seen her sick before so when my mum said she had a cold last week I didn't even worry. Today has been a really bad day. I know most people will say "old people do die" but you probably haven't met her. She always did everything for herself and she was a sturdy old girl. Apparently once some kids broke into her house and she scared them off all by herself, about 3 15 year old kids being scared off by one little 70-something lady. I don't know when I will accept that she's actually gone. We almost kept one of her dogs, Ness, which I think would have helped, but Bonnie wouldn't have any of it. She's always been a constant reliable part of my life. She's known me since I was 10 months old. She was truly as close as family to me. I suppose I always expected her to be 3 doors down from us, where I could just walk in around the back to talk to her or ask for help for some random thing. I went to her house today and it was unbearable. There were all these strange people I'd never met before and I had to knock on the door. She always kept the most beautiful garden, I really hope whoever lives in the house next looks after it as well as she did. I'm going to make my outdoor photo collage thing of it, I think. I don't want to do the inside of her house because those other people have already moved it around. They're her family, by the way. But I never saw them around much. I'm... sad that I'm not one of her "real " family. I know it's feelings that matter most but... I don't know. Feelings are pretty messed up right now. So.. yeah.
Don't take people for granted, because apparently nobody is immortal.
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Date: 2006-08-08 02:46 pm (UTC)*squishes back*