People make me feel uncomfortable.
Apr. 1st, 2005 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ithikaAHahahahahah
Did anyone get any really good April Fools today?
I didn't like having to be friendly to most people I served at work today. Which was a bit unusual for me. [Normally I don't mind] But today I was feeling a bit irritable for no real reason.
I do know that I don't like it when I can't figure out what people mean by what they say/do. I don't like it at all. And I don't like people that make me feel uncomfortable. For no reason. They just have icky-feelings radiating from them. There was this one guy today... I think he may have been attempting to convey his manly-man-ness to me. Which somehow was very depressing. I'm not sure why. I think it was because I felt bad for the poor creature. Or bad because I suspected that and therefore felt vain. Or something. But if that is the case, he wasn't/isn't very good.
Gah.
But enough of that
Away from these depressing foundations
anyone who doesn't immediately recognise that quote has had no childhood at all
Went shopping again today. Got some pinstriped trousers... oooh. And some new PJs. Whee. Stripey. Yes. e y.
Oh! Have made a breakthrough in deciding what I'm doing for my Creative Writing assignment. I am, after all, going to do The Watcher. I'm aware that it will need almost infinite editing... but it's still easier than thinking of a new story which I'll then have to break down into a plan... The good thing about The Watcher is that I already know heaps about almost everything that's going to be in the story.
I've changed a few things though, and I think I'll be renaming most of the characters save The Watcher, I think. Since The Watcher doesn't really have a name...
I thought up a new character today.. his name is Stag. More on him later though... [He will be my own take on the kind of characters that always end up being my favourites, for some reason]
Oh my god, I hate MSN so very very much. That's why I'm not online tonight, by the way, because MSN is a whiney bitch.
*fumes*
And Web Messenger is a pain in the arse. I pity those poor wretches amongst you who must use it day to day... I really do. Deepest Sympathies to you my friends.
I might go now...
I push my fingers into my eyes, it's the only thing that slowly stops the ache, but it's made of all the things I have to take, Jesus it never ends, it works it's way inside, if the pain goes on...I have screamed until my veins collapsed I've waited as my time's elapsed Now, All I do is live with so much fate I've wished for this, I've bitched at that I've left behind this little fact:
You cannot kill what you did not create I've gotta say what I've gotta say And then I swear I'll go away But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise I guess I'll save the best for last My future seems like one big past You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice I push my fingers into my eyes It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it Put me back together Or separate the skin from bone Leave me all the Pieces, then you can leave me alone Tell me the reality is better than the dream But I found out the hard way, Nothing is what it seems
Remember :It's quite possible that I'm just as surprised as you are that this song is the way that it is, being by who it is by, and how I love it so.
Oh. also. I don't format song lyrics. Coz I think they look better this way. I also cut irritating repeated lyrics, because they look stupid/lame in print.
I never want to be I never want to be like you I wanna be myself But you make me out to be somebody else And I live in pain And I love the darkness of my mind Cos it makes me feel You know it makes me feel like I'm alive I'm alive
Oh I'm alive Far across the land Yeah far across the land They understand, they understand the lies But nobody here want to question why It's not what I need
But if I cut myself I'm bound to bleed I don't want to die But it makes me feel like alive I'm alive Oh I'm alive Don't make the same mistake Don't make Cessation, no I'm sick of being the crowd I'm sick of being the crowd It's up to me I'm not gonna crack But the demons inside Keep on coming back I've got to fight the fear I've got to know that how I feel is real I've got to speak my mind Cos it makes me feel like I'm alive I'm alive Oh I'm alive Let go Oh I'm alive I'm alive
He started the day with a mood and a shake He was finally arranged And someone said with a cold, hard chest, "You're a mess!" He woke up at nights He thought he was twice He was moving away cause everyone thinks that it goes away with age Hold me now Don’t start shaking You keep me safe Don't ever think you're the only one when times are tough in your new age You better be cool at the time He’s walking along with his soul in his lungs Ya stare at him long you can find a new song Everyone thinks they've got a new phrase But you're still miles away You're still miles away I said, "You're still miles away."
I think that will be all for now.
It ended up being only one song - Cessation By The Music. Oh. Wait. I lie. I'm also adding Session 12 (Hold Me Now) By The Polyphonic Spree, because I love it so.
Did anyone get any really good April Fools today?
I didn't like having to be friendly to most people I served at work today. Which was a bit unusual for me. [Normally I don't mind] But today I was feeling a bit irritable for no real reason.
I do know that I don't like it when I can't figure out what people mean by what they say/do. I don't like it at all. And I don't like people that make me feel uncomfortable. For no reason. They just have icky-feelings radiating from them. There was this one guy today... I think he may have been attempting to convey his manly-man-ness to me. Which somehow was very depressing. I'm not sure why. I think it was because I felt bad for the poor creature. Or bad because I suspected that and therefore felt vain. Or something. But if that is the case, he wasn't/isn't very good.
Gah.
But enough of that
anyone who doesn't immediately recognise that quote has had no childhood at all
Went shopping again today. Got some pinstriped trousers... oooh. And some new PJs. Whee. Stripey. Yes. e y.
Oh! Have made a breakthrough in deciding what I'm doing for my Creative Writing assignment. I am, after all, going to do The Watcher. I'm aware that it will need almost infinite editing... but it's still easier than thinking of a new story which I'll then have to break down into a plan... The good thing about The Watcher is that I already know heaps about almost everything that's going to be in the story.
I've changed a few things though, and I think I'll be renaming most of the characters save The Watcher, I think. Since The Watcher doesn't really have a name...
I thought up a new character today.. his name is Stag. More on him later though... [He will be my own take on the kind of characters that always end up being my favourites, for some reason]
Oh my god, I hate MSN so very very much. That's why I'm not online tonight, by the way, because MSN is a whiney bitch.
*fumes*
And Web Messenger is a pain in the arse. I pity those poor wretches amongst you who must use it day to day... I really do. Deepest Sympathies to you my friends.
I might go now...
I push my fingers into my eyes, it's the only thing that slowly stops the ache, but it's made of all the things I have to take, Jesus it never ends, it works it's way inside, if the pain goes on...I have screamed until my veins collapsed I've waited as my time's elapsed Now, All I do is live with so much fate I've wished for this, I've bitched at that I've left behind this little fact:
You cannot kill what you did not create I've gotta say what I've gotta say And then I swear I'll go away But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise I guess I'll save the best for last My future seems like one big past You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice I push my fingers into my eyes It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it Put me back together Or separate the skin from bone Leave me all the Pieces, then you can leave me alone Tell me the reality is better than the dream But I found out the hard way, Nothing is what it seems
Slipknot, "Duality"
Remember :It's quite possible that I'm just as surprised as you are that this song is the way that it is, being by who it is by, and how I love it so.
Oh. also. I don't format song lyrics. Coz I think they look better this way. I also cut irritating repeated lyrics, because they look stupid/lame in print.
I never want to be I never want to be like you I wanna be myself But you make me out to be somebody else And I live in pain And I love the darkness of my mind Cos it makes me feel You know it makes me feel like I'm alive I'm alive
Oh I'm alive Far across the land Yeah far across the land They understand, they understand the lies But nobody here want to question why It's not what I need
But if I cut myself I'm bound to bleed I don't want to die But it makes me feel like alive I'm alive Oh I'm alive Don't make the same mistake Don't make Cessation, no I'm sick of being the crowd I'm sick of being the crowd It's up to me I'm not gonna crack But the demons inside Keep on coming back I've got to fight the fear I've got to know that how I feel is real I've got to speak my mind Cos it makes me feel like I'm alive I'm alive Oh I'm alive Let go Oh I'm alive I'm alive
The Music - Cessation
He started the day with a mood and a shake He was finally arranged And someone said with a cold, hard chest, "You're a mess!" He woke up at nights He thought he was twice He was moving away cause everyone thinks that it goes away with age Hold me now Don’t start shaking You keep me safe Don't ever think you're the only one when times are tough in your new age You better be cool at the time He’s walking along with his soul in his lungs Ya stare at him long you can find a new song Everyone thinks they've got a new phrase But you're still miles away You're still miles away I said, "You're still miles away."
The Polyphonic Spree - Session 12 (Hold Me Now)
I think that will be all for now.
It ended up being only one song - Cessation By The Music. Oh. Wait. I lie. I'm also adding Session 12 (Hold Me Now) By The Polyphonic Spree, because I love it so.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 04:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 01:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 08:56 am (UTC)Ugh. Your talking about your The Watcher reminded me that I haven't worked on Immortal Ashes in more than a year. Agh. No! Must not feel bad about that! Must. Not. Feel. Bad. About. That. Think of the warm fuzzies and of new world!
Not working. =/
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 01:00 pm (UTC)...
*weeps*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 01:03 pm (UTC)This is /so/ not going in the actual story
Date: 2005-04-02 02:35 pm (UTC)Rilahn winced as something cracked sharply, sending pain shooting up his hand.
"What's wrong?" Mattisah asked, poking his head around the doorway.
Rilahn held up his hand, displaying the damage.
"I broke a fucking nail."
*FLEES*
Re: This is /so/ not going in the actual story
Date: 2005-04-02 02:37 pm (UTC)Re: This is /so/ going in the actual story
Date: 2005-04-02 03:13 pm (UTC)"Fucking hell I am! My nails are the only things that kept me sane in prison!"
"...Right."
"See? SEE? SEE! RUINED!"
"I think you should put the finger down now."
"But I haven't finished angsting about it yet." Rilahn gently cradled the finger.
"I don't need this shit right now," Mattisah muttered under his breath and turned to leave but -
"Will you kiss it better?"
"What? NO!"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeease?"
"But what will Finch say?!"
"He doesn't have to knoooooooow. Pleeeeeeeeease kiss my boo-boo?"
"I'm leaving now." Mattisah edged out of the room. "Bye."
"Well fuck you."
Sorry for spamming your LJ, Meghan!!!
Re: This is /so/ going in the actual story
Date: 2005-04-02 04:35 pm (UTC)*is so alone*And the writ-age is funneh :)
Re: This is /so/ going in the actual story
Date: 2005-04-03 01:15 pm (UTC)Re: This is /so/ going in the actual story, ONLY NOT
Date: 2005-04-03 01:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 01:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 01:43 pm (UTC)New world? not feel bad? Hmm... I sense a possibly neglected work...? Hmm? hehe... maybe everyone has one
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 01:51 pm (UTC)So it all equals out... right?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-02 04:38 pm (UTC)In my opinion... good maps make up for neglect.
It's possible that my map-fixation is highly unnatural and unhealthy
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-03 07:03 am (UTC)http://members.optusnet.com.au/~standard_defect/ferreta/marblett_lands_small.gif
http://members.optusnet.com.au/~standard_defect/ferreta/marblett_waters_small.gif
here are my maps for Ferreta, and I think you can tell a lot about me from them. Hehehe.
(You can sail directly from the western continent to the eastern one, but sailing through the magical filter the gods use to keep people from sailing into their waters (the gods have a continent too, y'know!) upsets people's stomachs)
I have high hopes for new world's map. =)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-04 12:06 pm (UTC)Curious lyrics.
Greetings
Date: 2005-04-08 02:43 am (UTC)