Sometimes things happen.

You know how sometimes, you sit yourself down to attack a task that you know will be really challenging... you get started, and then suddenly, inexplicably, it's easy?
And then you feel this slow cold prickle its way up your spine, through your ribcage, to grip your heart in shrinking terror - I've forgotten how to (insert occupation here) - this can't be easy, this isn't easy, I've done something wrong.

Well yeah, I just had that. I'm pretty sure I've forgotten how to Architect. Working out parking arrangements is never easy, but it just was. They just line up - plop plop plop in a neat little row. What am I missing? Something fundamental. Something basic. Something that will make my tutor go "what the hell dicks, you should know this by third year" and then I'll whisper in my tiniest of tiny voices, "technically, fourth year" and then they'll say "what?" and I'll say "Nothing, sir."

Here's the scenario:

I have a site. It's a tiny, piddly thing in Cottesloe. It has no aspect or charm, considering where it is. It's pretty boring.
It's 15000 x 33000 x 10000. (15 metres by 33 metres by 10 metres.)
The 10m side is facing North, which of course means that the 33m face is exposed to the west. But whatever.

So I have to fit 7 2500x5400 (2.5m x 5.4m for those who still haven't figured out to divide by numbers or can't be arsed, and frankly who can?) car parking bays + 1 mystery sized disabled parking bay (yeah I can't find the dimensions so sue me) into this space.
Plus one public space at the front, or in some part of this 419m² space.

Plus, I guess, some kind of way to get up to the 1st and 2nd floors. Like a stair, fuck lifts, you lazy bastards.
(That might not be what  I'd say to a client, but who knows?)
The great thing about having stairs only is that as long as it has self-closing doors and is unobstructed (as stairwells do tend to be), I can also say "hey, that's my fire escape, guy!" And they'll say "So it is!"

Man, why the hell do I have to buy the BCA to view it? And why isn't it on student resources?
Ah, screw it. They can just tell me I'm wrong tomorrow. I'm already one up because they loved my green wall and louvres and concrete idea from monday, I'm sure they won't be too disappointed.

(Tips for prospective Architecture students : 2 hours on google sketchup plus elevational sketches embellished with Copic Markers will get you far in this world.)

ALSO CAD 2009 is unprecedentedly different from 2007. WHERE ARE MY BUTTONS, my buttons, oh god.

Edit: It's and its. Er, happens to the best of us? Well, maybe not the best of us, but at least some people who are better than mediocre do it sometimes.

EDIT Edit: Fuck I can't remember how to work out how much stair I need. FOUR MONTHS OF HOLIDAY NOT AS GLORIOUS AS WOULD FIRST APPEAR.

EDIT EDIT Edit: I'm thinking rise over run, but what the hell, how do I apply this? Oh wait, I don't have run. And I don't know what Rise/Run actually works out.  Oh lol.
SCREW YOU ELBERETH WHY DON'T YOU HAVE CAD ON YOU THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF I COULD SEE MY WORK FROM LAST YEAR, FUCK.

Architecture Students Swear sometimes

GOD DAMN THIS. Mabye I'll just do some mud mapping and then bat my eyelids tomorrow. Or respond with "funny isn't it?"
I need to chill. It's only second week.