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ithikaI feel really stupid, and I don't know why. Emotional roller coasters suck - hand me that coke.
It's really early... I should go to sleep. But I don't want to, and you can't make me, because you're just my journal.
Heh, this fanfic is good.
I like having many fandoms.I was thinking about it, and I decided I like it rather than am confused by it. My old fandoms are coming back, and the old ones have been restored. It's good, and stops me from going mad with obsession.
Which is bad, and has happened before.
There's a silence in knowing
A murmer in wondering
a ponderance in living
Life, like a ferris wheel
goes around and around
around and up
and around and down
from down it always goes up
and from up, indefinately down
but what if you couldn't see that
down would go up
What if you couldn't see the rain after
the summer
the new shoots after teh fire
what if you couldn't
find the right words
to let all your feelings
to speak
from your heart
God, that poem sucks.
For crying out loud...
Thunder, thunder and a roar from the waves
the deep, deep black of the squall raging and churning, furious
deadly
unstoppable
LIghtning, lightning brings light into the deep
violent shadows are cast into the waves
the sea-beasts swim still
and the dolphins dance in the heart of the squall
leaping and laughing, making fun of the furious ocean
waves rip into the face of a cliff, trying
trying to pull it down, to pull it back into the sea
where it once was, long ago
as far as the eye could sea,
the steel grey, churning ocean, peaked with white,
stretched until it touched the horizon, the sky that matched the texture and hue of the churning waves
the clouds occasionally ripped asunder by the violent lightning that streaked across the great dome
That's a little better.
Ok, so I'm not a complete failure
*eyes glisten with tears* this fic is so adorable, oh... it's so cute! *makes fangirl happy gurgling noises*
Wow. That was a cruel, coldhearted ending. Huh.
You know, I like this journal. But I think I'm gonna tell other people about it soon, and then I'll regret it, but I'll still have Private entries, which Louis reccomended, so yeah.
Here's to hoping
I should really get some sleep soon
But for some reason, I just don't want to, I don't feel like sleeping.
I have noone to talk to, nothing to look at and I'm bored, but I don't want to go to sleep.
Why?
And Just Jack Sparrow's gone all crazy like *sulks* not fair.
Must see POTC again soon.
Must figure out how I feel.
I think I'll get some writing and drawing done tomorrow.
I don't know. Feeling kinda arty.
Actually, I think I'll make this a private entry, just for the hell of it.
I'm still not using real names, coz I'm paranoid. Always freaking paranoid. Why do I have to care? I don't want to, honestly, I wish I could just tell everyone exactly what I thought of them, but I can't. I hate morality.
No, I'm not typing anything more, and it's not going to be a private entry. I'll write this down in my pen-on-paper journal, where it belongs. I'll not clutter my online personality with the reality that plagues my 3 dimensional life, it'd loose it's sense of fun.
I feel like I haven't done or said anything of meaning in a long time. I've acheived things, sure. But I haven't said, written, thought, anything that really meant anything in such a long time. It's not good, I feel like I'm changing, but not in a good way, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I don' know why it's happening, or whether anything is happening at all.
I'm happy, but I'm not content, and I don't understand.
Or maybe now the coke's worn off I'm feeling strange and thinking weird things. I don't know. But I do know that I want this feeling to stop, and stop soon. I don't like not understanding myself. I don't very much care if I don't understand other people, but it's not good to misunderstand yourself.
Or maybe I really am up too late.
It's really early... I should go to sleep. But I don't want to, and you can't make me, because you're just my journal.
Heh, this fanfic is good.
I like having many fandoms.I was thinking about it, and I decided I like it rather than am confused by it. My old fandoms are coming back, and the old ones have been restored. It's good, and stops me from going mad with obsession.
Which is bad, and has happened before.
There's a silence in knowing
A murmer in wondering
a ponderance in living
Life, like a ferris wheel
goes around and around
around and up
and around and down
from down it always goes up
and from up, indefinately down
but what if you couldn't see that
down would go up
What if you couldn't see the rain after
the summer
the new shoots after teh fire
what if you couldn't
find the right words
to speak
from your heart
God, that poem sucks.
For crying out loud...
Thunder, thunder and a roar from the waves
the deep, deep black of the squall raging and churning, furious
deadly
unstoppable
LIghtning, lightning brings light into the deep
violent shadows are cast into the waves
the sea-beasts swim still
and the dolphins dance in the heart of the squall
leaping and laughing, making fun of the furious ocean
waves rip into the face of a cliff, trying
trying to pull it down, to pull it back into the sea
where it once was, long ago
as far as the eye could sea,
the steel grey, churning ocean, peaked with white,
stretched until it touched the horizon, the sky that matched the texture and hue of the churning waves
the clouds occasionally ripped asunder by the violent lightning that streaked across the great dome
That's a little better.
Ok, so I'm not a complete failure
*eyes glisten with tears* this fic is so adorable, oh... it's so cute! *makes fangirl happy gurgling noises*
Wow. That was a cruel, coldhearted ending. Huh.
You know, I like this journal. But I think I'm gonna tell other people about it soon, and then I'll regret it, but I'll still have Private entries, which Louis reccomended, so yeah.
Here's to hoping
I should really get some sleep soon
But for some reason, I just don't want to, I don't feel like sleeping.
I have noone to talk to, nothing to look at and I'm bored, but I don't want to go to sleep.
Why?
And Just Jack Sparrow's gone all crazy like *sulks* not fair.
Must see POTC again soon.
Must figure out how I feel.
I think I'll get some writing and drawing done tomorrow.
I don't know. Feeling kinda arty.
Actually, I think I'll make this a private entry, just for the hell of it.
I'm still not using real names, coz I'm paranoid. Always freaking paranoid. Why do I have to care? I don't want to, honestly, I wish I could just tell everyone exactly what I thought of them, but I can't. I hate morality.
No, I'm not typing anything more, and it's not going to be a private entry. I'll write this down in my pen-on-paper journal, where it belongs. I'll not clutter my online personality with the reality that plagues my 3 dimensional life, it'd loose it's sense of fun.
I feel like I haven't done or said anything of meaning in a long time. I've acheived things, sure. But I haven't said, written, thought, anything that really meant anything in such a long time. It's not good, I feel like I'm changing, but not in a good way, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I don' know why it's happening, or whether anything is happening at all.
I'm happy, but I'm not content, and I don't understand.
Or maybe now the coke's worn off I'm feeling strange and thinking weird things. I don't know. But I do know that I want this feeling to stop, and stop soon. I don't like not understanding myself. I don't very much care if I don't understand other people, but it's not good to misunderstand yourself.
Or maybe I really am up too late.
