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ithikaI was so funny/dumb/suck in year 10 Year 10 Deadjournaling
Hmm, new layout is suck. But wanted change. Poo! Takes less time to load though. If only I weren't so lazy.
Hah, messageboards are fun.
AAH! I SAID PLZ!
NOOO
stupid year 10 self.
CARING FOR YOUR LLAMA
Now. You may be thinking "But, I haven't GOT a Llama!"
That's not important. You're just wrong.
We all have a Llama living with us, be it in our hearts and minds, or in our furniture and ceilings.
Now. This llama is not to be taken for granted, even if it is there 24/7, always has been and unconditionally always will be.
Like everything else, your Llama deserves respect, and needs frequent servicing.
Llamas aren't just under-appreciated beasts of burden from the South American region, oh, no. They are technical and complicated flying mechanisms which have a high maintenance requirement. Don't look at me like that; I'm not joking. Now. If you cannot see your llama, this means you have to lure it out. Don't do anything stupid like calling out "here llama llama llama!", Because that's just stupid, and Llama's aren't.
What you must do is find some premium-quality grass, harvested at the last full moon and kept in water from the pool beneath a waterfall in the middle of an ancient oak forest in Britain. This may all seem a bit extravagant, which it is, but Llamas are fickle creatures, and very fussy. They won't stand for all this nonsense about eating normal grass, oh no.
This done, it should be relatively easy to lure out the llama. Unless it lives in your brain. Which will lead to a messy and uncomfortable situation for you in a few minutes.
Once the llama has appeared, observe it quietly. If it appears to be a livid, glowing green colour, don't worry, it's merely radioactive. The llama is not ill, though you may soon be, depending on the age of the llama.
After it finishes eating, the llama will look at you, and depending on whether it's ever seen you before, and how many times it's been service in it's lifetime, it may or may not spontaneously combust.
If it does, calmly walk away, grab a fire Extinguisher, and put the llama out.
Not outside, stupid.
Put out the fire?
No, not with your hands!
Look, fire extinguisher, fire. THINK.
HONESTLY.
Well. That done, you will notice that the llama remains unharmed. This is either because you are not actually looking at a real llama and never were, or because the llama actually isn't harmed.
Fascinating creatures, llamas.
Anyway, now the llama will walk over to you. Pat it on the nose.
It will latch on to your arm, with it's teeth.
This will hurt.
A lot.
Don't scream.
The llama will hurt it's ears.
Instead, grab, with your free hand your premium, A-grade Llama Polish, and proceed to polish the llama until it's nice and shiny.
If you don't have Premium A-grade Llama Polish, the llama will eat you, and you will die.
Sorry.
If all things work out, you will, at the end of it all, have one perfectly functioning, shiny llama, which will then fly away (in a perfectly straight line), never to be seen again.
With your arm.
Sorry about that.
It'll grow back.
Hahaah...
Ooh, curfew nazi....
Hmm, new layout is suck. But wanted change. Poo! Takes less time to load though. If only I weren't so lazy.
Hah, messageboards are fun.
AAH! I SAID PLZ!
NOOO
stupid year 10 self.
CARING FOR YOUR LLAMA
Now. You may be thinking "But, I haven't GOT a Llama!"
That's not important. You're just wrong.
We all have a Llama living with us, be it in our hearts and minds, or in our furniture and ceilings.
Now. This llama is not to be taken for granted, even if it is there 24/7, always has been and unconditionally always will be.
Like everything else, your Llama deserves respect, and needs frequent servicing.
Llamas aren't just under-appreciated beasts of burden from the South American region, oh, no. They are technical and complicated flying mechanisms which have a high maintenance requirement. Don't look at me like that; I'm not joking. Now. If you cannot see your llama, this means you have to lure it out. Don't do anything stupid like calling out "here llama llama llama!", Because that's just stupid, and Llama's aren't.
What you must do is find some premium-quality grass, harvested at the last full moon and kept in water from the pool beneath a waterfall in the middle of an ancient oak forest in Britain. This may all seem a bit extravagant, which it is, but Llamas are fickle creatures, and very fussy. They won't stand for all this nonsense about eating normal grass, oh no.
This done, it should be relatively easy to lure out the llama. Unless it lives in your brain. Which will lead to a messy and uncomfortable situation for you in a few minutes.
Once the llama has appeared, observe it quietly. If it appears to be a livid, glowing green colour, don't worry, it's merely radioactive. The llama is not ill, though you may soon be, depending on the age of the llama.
After it finishes eating, the llama will look at you, and depending on whether it's ever seen you before, and how many times it's been service in it's lifetime, it may or may not spontaneously combust.
If it does, calmly walk away, grab a fire Extinguisher, and put the llama out.
Not outside, stupid.
Put out the fire?
No, not with your hands!
Look, fire extinguisher, fire. THINK.
HONESTLY.
Well. That done, you will notice that the llama remains unharmed. This is either because you are not actually looking at a real llama and never were, or because the llama actually isn't harmed.
Fascinating creatures, llamas.
Anyway, now the llama will walk over to you. Pat it on the nose.
It will latch on to your arm, with it's teeth.
This will hurt.
A lot.
Don't scream.
The llama will hurt it's ears.
Instead, grab, with your free hand your premium, A-grade Llama Polish, and proceed to polish the llama until it's nice and shiny.
If you don't have Premium A-grade Llama Polish, the llama will eat you, and you will die.
Sorry.
If all things work out, you will, at the end of it all, have one perfectly functioning, shiny llama, which will then fly away (in a perfectly straight line), never to be seen again.
With your arm.
Sorry about that.
It'll grow back.
Hahaah...
Ooh, curfew nazi....